Life is Far From Perfect

Life is far from perfect.

I love taking fun pictures of my boys. I also love sharing those pictures! Yet, even when they give me the most perfect smiles and (almost) every hair is in order and they don’t have any stains on their shirts, the moment usually was never perfect. Yet, I want to remember all of these imperfect moments for what they are. You may see clean, smiling faces, but I see the amount of effort it took to make that picture happen. Because, you see, threenagers don’t usually get the memo that they really don’t have a care in the world and life at their age should be fun. And threenagers REALLY don’t understand that holidays are supposed to be fun and stress-free. 

On that same note, anxiety doesn’t understand, either. No matter how little effort I put into a day (so as to keep the stress level low), holidays often still seem stressful to me. Yesterday was supposed to be a fun day. I had a morning full of activities planned to get us out of the house and I was excited for our day. However, the boys woke up on the wrong side of the bed and couldn’t seem to recover. We left the house over an hour late so we missed Story-Time and grabbing a free breakfast at Chick-Fil-A. 

At this point I was in tears and the boys had thrown about a million tantrums. I thought about not going out at all. But that felt wrong- like the bad morning would win if we didn’t go. So I put the boys in the van and we headed to what was supposed to be our third activity of the day – Valentine’s donuts at Krispy Kreme. I’m really glad we did.

When we got there the sign was lit up. I hope you know what that means!! 1 free donut for each of us! We went inside and had fun watching the donuts go through the cooking process. We each got our own free donut and they were delicious. When we went to sit down we found a fun red couch that made for a fun little seating arrangement. And the boys (sorta) cooperated for Valentine’s pictures. 

While the threenager attitudes continued until Daddy got home (with what’s becoming our traditional Chinese takeout for V day) and it was a hard day, it was also a good day. I’m choosing to remember the enjoyable moments at Krispy Kreme over the attitudinal issues we had the rest of the day. I’m focusing on the positive moments in our day, like dinner and playtime with Daddy. 

I also am thankful that Luke allows me my frustrations and still tried hard to make it a fun holiday. I really enjoyed our Cocoa Dulce Fondue for 2 after the boys went to bed. 

Life is far from perfect. That doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyed.

30 Minutes is All You Need Sometimes

Ya’ll, today was tough. This week has been tough. This month has been tough. I know someday I’ll be thankful I have super opinionated boys, but when they are whiny and fussy it takes a toll. You mamas know! Boyd is currently getting FOUR teeth in and he does not do new teeth well. In his defense, they take forever to come in and he just has to deal with it.

 

We’ve also been dealing with other things. Luke found out they were liquidating his department 40 days ago. He had 60 days to find a new job within the company. He’s been working tirelessly to find a role that fits well with him and with his company.

 

I’ve also been sick several times in the past few weeks. I had a 12-hr stomach bug or food poisoning and lost 5 lbs in a day. It was THAT fun. Then, 2 days later I was covered in hives top to bottom and took a few days to recover from that. It was less than enjoyable. On top of that I’ve been dealing with some other junk and am on my second antibiotic to hopefully get rid of it.

 

We bought an older car a month ago for Luke to fix up to drive and it has been less than cooperative, so he’s had to spend more time in the garage than we expected. It’s sooo close, but as they say, no cigar.

 

I’m not sure why all this has hit at once. It has felt so very heavy and some days I just don’t feel equipped to “mom” well. My boys don’t deserve the mom I am when I’m tired. If any of you seasoned moms have encouraging ways you are able to stay patient when patience is far from you, please comment!

 

I AM SO thankful for my partner in life for being strong through it all. I’m so excited to say that as of today he has been offered a new position with his company, so he gets to stay at a place he loves to work. I’m very proud of him.

 

These pictures and the video (you’ll have to check fb for the video) I’m sharing with you are how I made it through today. Funny how a mess becomes a gift from God. My boys were soooo needy this morning and I was really struggling. About a half hour before naps, right when they should have been their fussiest, they went into their room and shut the door. Since they don’t know how to open doors yet, this usually brings on more tears and fussiness, but today it didn’t. The boys played happily in their room for at least half an hour. Yes, they pulled all the jeans and pajamas out of the drawers. They emptied a wipes container. They sat in tubs and climbed on their changing table. And they talked, and laughed, and the house was quiet. I have never been more thankful for a mess. It got us through to naps, and they have now been safely tucked into bed for a while. We made it.

 

I’m headed to bed now to hopefully get some sleep (if only Boyd will sleep through the night tonight!!) so I can be a better mom tomorrow. I’m thankful for a new job and 30 minutes of quiet. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much smoother day!

Of Snakes and Berries

I sent the boys out to play in the backyard.

I NEEDED to get some things done and it was a nice, sunny November day. Gorgeous out.

We have a temporary fence and I can see them from inside the house so I sent them out. I helped them down the stairs from the deck (they do great, but just in case) and walked around to the side of the deck to fix the fence under there to make sure they couldn’t get out.

I needed to put in one more fence post to block everything out so I set it down in just the right place, looked down at the ground and there was a 2-foot long snake sunning himself under our deck.

Oh.

I let the snake be, because he didn’t look like anything dangerous (how would I know?). Really, I left him alone because of recent issues we’d been having with a couple varmints running around. [I’ve actually never typed the word “varmints” before, and was sure it would be spelled like “garments” with a “v”. But it isn’t.] He slithered off into the bushes and I finished putting in the fence post and setting the fence up.

Then I set my chair up to join the boys in the yard.

Yes, I NEEDED to get some things done, but I wasn’t sure what the boys would do if they found the snake, and didn’t really want to know, so I sat.

Right.

I think the snake was God’s way of getting me to sit in our backyard.

A few minutes later I noticed Boyd was picking some berries off a bush and starting to put them in his mouth. That’s when I noticed all the bushes in our backyard had bloomed and were covered with berries.

“Bluebies,” he said. He calls all berries “bluebies,” but he doesn’t pronounce the “L” very well. Makes me laugh every time.

In our backyard there are red holly berries, orange berries that looked like tic-tacs and larger orange berries as well. Maybe even a fourth type of berry out there. They all are in bloom in the fall, though I never paid much attention. They’re really so pretty. And guess what? So dangerous.

I started googling these berries before I let Boyd eat any of them, and I found that holly berries are toxic and can be DEADLY if you eat 15-20 of them. I also read that most red/orange berries found on thorny bushes are toxic at some level or another.

Oh good.

I had almost sent my boys out to play in our backyard with a very long sunning snake in the very place they most like to play and with 3-4 types of potentially (and probably) toxic/poisonous berries they could eat (and/or stick up their nose. I had to help Boyd shoot several back out his nostrils after he shoved them up there before I could stop him…).

They had a great time playing, and I actually got some things done sitting out there, too. I’m super thankful for God’s provision that allowed me to see a few completely unknown dangers and protect my boys from them. I know I won’t always be able to protect them from everything, but it’s pretty great when I can.

Nails, Sharpies, and Mama’s Intuition

I haven’t put hardly anything on the walls in our house.

It takes me FOREVER to decide if I for sure want to put a nail in the wall.

Therefore, sitting on my children’s long unused changing table, I had several types of nails, a hammer, a sharpie, tape, clothespins, string, some bandage scissors, and all sorts of fun stuff.

Why were they there, you ask?

We just haven’t used the changing table since they were super small. I can’t leave one twin in the living room to go to the bedroom to change the other or there are many tears. We end up doing diaper changes and clothing changes on the floor in the living room on a changing pad. Over the past 2 years I’d left things on the table from different projects and since the boys were never up there I hadn’t bothered to move it all. Especially since I still have several things I want to hang on their walls.

I think a mama’s intuition is about the closest thing I’ve ever experienced to hearing a voice from God.

The other day I was standing in the twins’ bedroom and I noticed all the stuff I needed to move. I had the extremely clear thought “You need to move all that, they’re going to climb up on the changing table very soon.” I grabbed one of their toy buckets from the floor and cleaned off the table right then.

Good thing, too.

Not ten minutes later I realized I hadn’t seen Troy for a few minutes. I went to find him and he was sitting on top of the changing table for the very first time. Thankfully he only had a few stuffed animals to play with, instead of markers and nails.

It’s moments like these I remind myself how good it is to listen to that small voice we hear every once in a while. Whether the voice of God (that’s kinda a big claim, haha), the voice of reason, or you just chalk it up to a mother’s intuition, I believe God used that thought to protect Troy. And I’m glad I listened.

 

Surgery Day

There we sat in a waiting room full of people. It never fails that we seem to attract interesting situations.

“Dude! What time is it?!” The fella sitting next to us asked Luke. I’d seen him glancing over here a few times and wondered what was up.

“7:30”

“For real? Good!! Both my wife and I’s phone say 6:30!”

We were sitting in the waiting room for Luke to go back for his tonsillectomy. Good Morning America on TV.  Nothing too exciting, but this guy looked panicked.

“I’ve been sitting here a while, since about 6 and checked my phone and it only said 6:30!! I was sure I’d been here longer than that!” Said the guy.

What messed him up even more was he was waiting for his wife’s surgery to be over and he also had her phone in his pocket. He checked it and it also said 6:30. An hour of his life disappeared, and he felt like he’d been sitting there for forever when, according to the 2 phones, it had only been 30 minutes.

We were able to give him the right time, even though we couldn’t fix the phones.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

Time does drag when you’re waiting for surgery to be over. Thankfully, Luke’s tonsillectomy was short. I was only half done eating my oatmeal when I saw the surgeon come out to the waiting room and look for me. I was surprised to see him so soon.

“Everything went well,” he said. Since I didn’t really have any questions he disappeared quickly. If I had any advice for family members in the surgery waiting room it would be to make a list of questions you’ll want to ask after surgery. It kinda takes you off guard when the surgeon comes out and says they’re done. The questions come later, after the surgeon is no longer around.

I had time to finish my oatmeal before the nurse came and called me back to see Luke. He was still very sleepy. They’d just taken out his oral airway they said. He half opened his eyes. Not sure if he saw me or not. The sweet nurse brought him warm blankets and covered him from head to toe. Then he rolled over onto his side and drifted back into that deep post-anesthesia sleep. I just sat there and stared at him, so glad that he was alright. I see post-op patients all the time. However, the patient had never been my husband before.

We were so thankful for an uneventful surgery, and post-op period. Luke had almost no pain, no nausea, and were able to leave fairly soon after he woke up. We headed home to rest and relax.