i just don’t know if i can do it.

i hold onto the past. this can be seen in lots of areas in my life, but right now mostly in my room. i’m working on redecorating my room for the first time in many, many years. however, i’m struggling taking down the wallpaper. it’s the same wallpaper that has been in there since i moved into that room, about 22 years ago. it’s white, with tiny pink rosebuds. it’s actually not bad, as far as wallpaper goes… kinda pretty if i do say so myself.

what’s even funnier is the last time i redecorated i was hugely into k-state football. my bedspread/curtains are purple/khaki, and i hung k-state football pictures from the newspaper all over one wall. i used to have all sorts of k-state paraphernalia around, too. i’ve put most of that away, but the white wallpaper with the tiny pink rosebuds, and the k-state football pictures are still there. because they go so well together? surely not. add to that mental image my mom’s old sheets (which are yellow flowers), and the purple/khaki bedspread. as you can see, my room needs a complete makeover. i have already found a new bedspread, and have ideas for the walls… and if i’m going to do this right, i really need to remove the old wallpaper and paint. paint paint paint.

i just don’t know if i can do it. it would look so new and wonderful if i did, but it would lose something. i wonder how many makeovers a room can go through without changing the wallpaper. none, really, because it’s not a complete makeover without changing the walls.

i just don’t know if i can do it.


One thought on “i just don’t know if i can do it.

  1. I remember the days with your walls full of football stuff. I just think your room shows the transition. From the girl who used to play with American Girl Doll and Secert Garden to teenagehood where K-state seemed to be your life. My highschool room while I loved it looked like a pre-teen girl with beanie babies and movie stars up on my wall. Even now as I prepare to move into my new apartment I am in transition yet again.


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