an update on life and my grandma

for those of you who don’t know, my dad’s mom has had two strokes in the past month. the first one took away her speaking/communicating abilities for the most part. she could still say a few words, but it was difficult to understand her.

the second stroke has caused her to not be able to control her left arm and the right side of her face. she also has lost most of her ability to swallow. she’s weak, and we don’t see much of a desire in her to fight. her husband of 67 years passed away six months ago. for a while she seemed willing to accept things, and make the best of her situation. now, she seems tired and ready to be done. she’s 89. she deserves to feel that way.

it tears at my heart to not be able to communicate with her. we have no way of knowing what she’s thinking. we do know that she still loves to hold our hand, and she doesn’t like to be alone. she reaches for us when we enter the room, and seems anxious when we leave. i’ve spent a lot of time lately praying for comfort for grandma, and wisdom for dad and his siblings in making decisions.

another situation that we’ve found ourselves in the middle of has to do with a precious baby we’ve been babysitting. details i can’t give, but i’ve also been lifting this little one before the throne of grace on a continual basis.

knowing that i have absolutely no control over either situation is so very difficult. but knowing that my God knows the very hair that falls from my head, and he will care for these loved ones, gives me a definite peace.

this afternoon, i rode my bike to the care home where grandma lives and sat by her side. sometimes i didn’t think she noticed i was there. but then she would reach out her hand for mine, and open her eyes and look at me, before drifting back to sleep. so i sat there, listening to her favorite Christian radio station, holding her hand, and watching her sleep. while sitting there the memory verse of the week came on the radio. i was amazed when i recognized it as my favorite verse of all time. what an incredible reminder that God was there with us. that God is here with us.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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