a letter to an old friend

feel free to eavesdrop on a letter i wrote to my previous blog last night…

dear xanga,

hello old friend. has it really been a year? i remember when i was a regular xanga-er i would gasp in disbelief when someone would ignore their xanga for an entire month! and now look. the last time i blogged was my video after nationals almost exactly one year ago.

life has been pretty crazy lately. since starting nursing school in january i have not had much time to stop and think. it seems like every moment that i am not in class is devoted to homework. even then i never feel caught up. it amazes me that i used to play basketball, take up to 19 hours of school, and work 2-3 part-time jobs a semester and survive. right now i have officially 15 hours and [because i can’t find one that will work with my school schedule] am not even working. sad, no?

because i like to analyze every aspect of my life, i have tried to figure out why my schoolwork-coping-abilities are lacking… could it be due to the fact that i am 9 entire months older than the last time i was enrolled full time? or is it because i spent a total of 4 months last year learning about/living in other cultures and languages and my brain simply has no extra space to put more learning? i guess it doesn’t really matter. though i would like to know… 🙂

one of the true joys of my week [since i got back from peru] has been the local spanish speaking church that i have found. it’s where i feel most at home. we/they found a new pastor several weeks ago, and it is neat to see him become more comfortable behind the pulpit. today he challenged us that we, as Christians, should not forget to stand strongly behind our beliefs. for the prophet elijah to go to ahab and jezebel with a message from God would be like one of us today taking a message to osama bin laden. and it would take a tremendous amount of courage. we must have a purpose in our day-to-day lives and give our lives for that purpose, like elijah. no matter what your job, wherever you are, show Christ and live for him. certainly a great reminder! today was especially wonderful because some of my bestest friends came with me, and i played the piano with the worship team for the first time. oh how i’ve missed the piano.

speaking of playing the piano, i’ve gotten in a lot of it this weekend. last night my second youngest brother received his eagle scout award in a [somewhat] traditional ceremony. [btw, writing in all lowercase is hard when i know i should be capitalizing. sigh]. it was a great day, but also very tiring… my fam is the best at waiting until the last minute on things. but. it happened. and went over pretty well. so good. i’m so proud of him.

and… it has been an emotional weekend.

like i said, it’s been a year since i last played basketball [for mcc]. going to nationals my senior year was awesome. losing all three games was not. this year i had to follow my girls from halfway across the country. they lost the first game, but won the 2nd two and earned 5th place in the nation. must say i feel like a proud momma. at the same time it hurt not being there with them. what stinks is that i don’t have a choice. my official basketball years are done now whether i like it or not. not an easy thing for me to take.

another hard moment was talking to my grandma [mom’s mom] at the eagle ceremony. the last eagle ceremony we’d been to was my older two brothers’. eleven years ago. shortly after my granddad passed away. the memories made it a bittersweet night. and she told me she missed me living near her. i miss her too. and there’s not much i can do about that right now. my heart is in so many places right now. here, there, peru.

on a lighter note one of the great moments of the weekend was that my other grandma left the nursing home [where she’s been living since her stroke] twice in one day! once for lunch with everyone, then again for the ceremony. it was so good to see her out and about again. i hope it gives her encouragement for getting strong again so she can go home.

well.

now it is late. much later than i should be going to bed. however, old xanga, i thought i’d stop by and try to catch up for a minute. i wanted you to know that i haven’t forgotten you. it’s just that… i like to try new things. i don’t necessarily like change, but i’ve realized over the years that it’s inevitable, so i try to make it as painless as possible. i guess that’s why you’ve been left behind. hmm. i guess in reality i haven’t a clue.

maybe i’ll be back soon.

with love, chandler

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